I haven't written in depth for awhile, so I wanted to stop in and give an update on how everyone is doing. Things have been crazy, crazy, hectic here lately. The kids health, surgeries, our health (and I'm talking mental health here too), stress, etc... has just had us all a bundle of nerves and because of that, our lives have just kind of been put on hold.
Clara's surgeries went well. She has recovered and is getting ready to come off of her soft diet. She's extremely happy about that. Clara is a junkfood junkie, big time. She wants her chips, takis, twizzlers, etc...
Mary is not doing as well. Her arthritis has spread to her left foot, mostly affecting her big toe and the metatarsal region of her foot. It is affecting her foot the same way that it affected her right wrist..so you can imagine my severe anxiety over this, and hers as well. She is losing mobility in her foot. She is 10 years old and she is losing mobility in her foot. Just wanted to let that sink in really good. We have no way of knowing how bad it's going to get. We can only go by what we have already seen and that's that her wrist started this same exact way and now she has no use of her wrist and has been told they do not know if she will ever recover use of her wrist....now we see it beginning to happen in her foot, so we can only assume that she will lose use of her foot as well, leaving her in a wheelchair permanently. Every young girl's dream, right? :(
Kathryn is off the chain with her behavior lately. She doesn't listen, she hurts her little brother, she lashes out verbally at us, she is into everything like a two year old and she listens like a 1 year old. She argues with us like a teenager, and she has absolutely no concern for her own safety or anyone else's really. She has become very difficult to handle, but we are hanging in there and doing our very best.
Clara's attitude has become very much verbally combative and disrespectful. I try to explain things to her until I am blue in the face and nothing. She doesn't listen to me really, she just blanks out and only hears bits and pieces and thinks I am the enemy and that I am just out to get her. Simple little things turn into huge arguments and long lectures and nothing really comes of it. I'm guessing we have entered full on teenage mode, right? I have a hard time handling this defiant behavior.
They have a counselor, but we have trouble getting our calendars in sync, so they are seeing her sporadically right now. The focus has become more on me than on them these past two sessions however. I am honest to a fault I suppose and I have let her know that I do yell, I do cuss, a lot. I hate it, but it happens. I feel like they don't listen if I'm not yelling and they will indeed ignore me as long as they can. So freaking disrespectful. My frustration levels go through the roof and my mouth turns into that of a drunken foul mouthed sailor. I have promised them and the counselor that I will work on my yelling and on my mouth. So far, it's not going well. But everyday is a new day and tomorrow is a day to try again. I won't stop working on it, because I can't give in to this. It cannot control me and take over my life. I wish that my girls would realize the same thing and continuously work on their behaviors too. Maybe one day.
Aiden is starting to act out by watching his sisters, (and me too, I'm sure). I'm hoping we can nip this in the bud before it begins really.
People praying for us is what we need, I am convinced of that. All prayers and positive thoughts are welcomed, I assure you. They are also much appreciated. <3
We have school starting up soon. Kat is the only one leaving the house for school this year. She starts Kindergarten. While I am excited for her and looking forward to the break, I am terrified of what's going to happen. She doesn't seem to understand that she cannot act out in school and she cannot teach the teacher. She cannot do as she pleases and talk when she wants. She cannot freak out when she's told "No" or when she's told to do something that she doesn't want to do. Y'all, the fear is real. I do not want them to force her to take medication. The ADHD meds have a really bad rep for killing the kids taking them. I want her to behave, I don't want her hurt or worse. So if you read this and you pray, please pray specifically that classroom structure is what she needs and that her teacher will be patient, kind and understanding and that Kat will do well.
Clara and Mary will be homeschooling. Mary will be home full time where Clara will be in an actual school setting two days a week. Prayers for them to get along and for them to be able to take this seriously and focus would be welcomed.
Man, this next year has got to be better for us. We all need a break.
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