Well...
Clara is losing her hearing, it's an official diagnosis now, in her medical file and everything. :( They fit her for her hearing aids and let her pick out the colors, we're just waiting to pick them up. They told us that they wouldn't recommend her going to the school for the deaf just yet though because she didn't start losing her hearing until she was 12, so her language will always be spoken English. They said since the school is a predominantly quiet grounds, it wouldn't do Clara any good at this point. They said there is no way to determine how fats her hearing will go, but when it goes, she will have the option of Cochlear implants. (But Johnnie says no to those because he's scared of them). So for right now, we wait it out and see what happens.
Marian saw her Rheumatologist and she's setting Marian up to start monthly infusions at Egleston starting in 4-6 weeks. Her body just isn't responding to her medication anymore and she doesn't want the Enbrel shots. Mary actually chose the Infusions over the shots. So here we go.
Clara asked me to change her surgeon a few weeks ago. She got to meet Dr. Williams, her new surgeon yesterday. He came in, sat in front of her and looked her over and just hung his head. He stayed that way for a few seconds and then sat up and looked at me with this "I'm sorry" look on his face and said, "Ok, here's what we can do..."
So Clara now has two surgeries scheduled to fix what her last surgeon didn't do. Dr. Williams is going to fix Clara's lips, making them symmetrical. He's going to try to fix her deviated septum so Clara can breathe through her nose. She is going to clean up some of the scarring around her nose and top lip and then later, hopefully, he will bring her jaw forward and close the hole in the roof of her mouth.
She already went through the surgery to move her jaw forward, but Dr. Williams told us yesterday that it didn't take because her previous surgeon didn't soften up her top lip first, so the jaw really had no more room to go forward. He's fixing that this time.
Clara liked him. He wasn't rushed. He wasn't rude. He didn't keep telling her that he wasn't concerned with her concerns. He listened to her and he was polite and thoughtful. I am praying that he stays this way for her.
Mary is hurting really badly now. Her stomach just won't let up on her and now her left hand is starting to hurt her. Her legs stay sore and so does her right hand/wrist. She stays tired and ill lately and she has been giving grief as well as getting it because of her bad attitude. I know it's brought on by her pain and her changing hormones, so at times, it's easier for me to just let it go. Others are having a harder time with it. I just hope that one day soon, she won't hurt so bad. I am really hoping these infusions will help her.
Yesterday, I drove Clara to her doctor's appointment, all by myself. That doesn't sound like a big deal or anything worth mentioning, but I drove her to Sandy Springs!! (Atlanta) I drove all back roads and it was really stressful, but I did it!! No more asking/begging people to drive us to Atlanta when Johnnie can't get off work, cause I can do it! I am so happy with myself and I feel so accomplished with this, y'all. LOL I know it sounds silly to those who have been driving in and out of Atlanta for years, but this is very new to me. I even drove us home on I-285!! That is a huge fear of mine, but I did it! And Clara even told me that i did better than her Daddy because I didn't cuss anyone out. LOL
It's a good thing I did this too because now all three girls have doctors up there in that same area.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
My Family and Addiction
I wish I knew the pattern to addiction.
I have watched this "thing" destroy and rip apart members of my family (and other families) for far too many years now. Today is just a new day, different person (people). It's so very sad and the feeling of hopelessness is overwhelming. I can't imagine being their parent and watching it eat them up, affecting every aspect of their life. Having raised these beautiful babies, watched them grow, watched them take their first steps, say their first words, the excitement as they discovered each new amazing thing and to cover them in the protection of your very own life for most of theirs just to have them grow up and be unable to do that for them when they need it the most... It just breaks my heart for their mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, and everyone else that loves them so much.
I fear for my own children because it seems to be in the blood. I don't know if that is true, if it's the case or not, but it seems to really take a hold of the men in our family (and some of the women too) and it just tears them down and makes them unrecognizable. You don't know who will suffer it or what causes it, in order to be able to stop it from happening at all. You just worry and try to do your best to shield your children from it.
I know one thing, I want my kids out of Henry County, asap. I fear that this county will swallow them whole if they stay here much longer. There is far too much accessibility to the bad stuff, too much crime, too many wanna be thugs living the "hard" life.
I can only hope that they know I am crazy enough to chain them to a bed and keep them away from that life if need be, and that they are scared enough to not want that to happen.
I don't know what it is that makes some people believe that their only way to deal with trauma, pain or tough luck is to give up their lives and the people they love to drugs and/or alcohol, but it seems to be the big thing nowadays..."having a difficult time?" "Awww, just hand it all over to this or that, you'll feel better in no time..." That's a bunch of crap. The devil is a lie!
If you find yourself out there... lost, afraid, nowhere to go, please know that there IS always help. You just have to reach out and ask for it.
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE
CALL 1-800-273-8255
AVAILABLE 24/7
AMERICAN ADDICTION CENTERS
1-877-760-5773
AID IN RECOVERY
1-877-848-9697
AVAILABLE 24/7
THE RECOVERY VILLAGE
1-888-965-1907
SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
1-800-662-HELP (4357)
AVAILABLE 24/7/365
DRUG ABUSE HOTLINE
1-888-744-0069
GA DEPT OF BEHAVIORAL HEALTH AND DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES
1-800-338-6745
AVAILABLE 24/7
MY RECOVERY HOTLINE
1-888-755-0346
AVAILABLE 24/7
There's just no excuse to continue down that path and worry your family, your loved ones and to just keep making bad choices and bad decisions, one right after the other when there are so many options available to you to get you the help that you need. No one can do it for you. No one can hand it to you. You have to stop being selfish and make the choice to be better for your kids, your parents, your siblings, yourself.
And if you cannot find any other way, there is always a way...Jesus Christ came to Earth to help those who need him the most.
Mark 2:17
On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
When you believe that you are alone, that your family has turned their backs on you...when you feel like there is no hope, no way out of the things that you have done, just remember that Jesus came to Earth for YOU, because of YOU and your need of Him.
You can turn it all around, you just have to make the decision to do so. And do it.
When you believe that you are alone, that your family has turned their backs on you...when you feel like there is no hope, no way out of the things that you have done, just remember that Jesus came to Earth for YOU, because of YOU and your need of Him.
You can turn it all around, you just have to make the decision to do so. And do it.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Working Girl and Other Updates
I got a job. :)
The pay is horrible, the hours are horrible, but it's more than I was making at home. ;P
I am working at a daycare center, kind of floating between the infants room and the Pre-K room, afternoons from 2-6:45pm. I mean it works for me right now, it's bringing a little extra money in and I have my mornings for doctor's appointments, etc..
Eventually I will need full-time, but for now it's good. :)
Aiden really enjoyed his first day at daycare yesterday. He made new friends and got to play with them. He may have driven his teacher a bit crazy, but it's all new to him, he still has to learn his limits there. He'll get it, it's just going to take time.
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Clara is about to start seeing her new surgeon. Her appointment is set for the 30th of this month. I wish I knew how she felt about meeting him but she rarely speaks to me about her feelings unless she's angry about something. :/
Mary is having some trouble with her stomach still, I am honestly considering calling the nurse and telling her we are done with the Enbrel. Ever since that first shot her stomach has been messed up and y'all know from the previous post on Enbrel, stomach problems from little to big can occur because of this drug. I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. But at the same time, she's hurting. Her shoulders, her back, her legs, knees, ankles, and feet...she's in pain. I don't know the right choice here. I really don't. I know some of the pain has to do with her scoliosis too though...so there is that to consider. Enbrel does nothing for that.
Kat's doing good. It seems as she gets older, the easier she is to handle. Her ADHD and her ODD are still in full effect and still raging on, but it takes less and less time for me to get her to focus and listen to what I'm saying to her, whether she obeys or not is another story, but baby steps...baby steps. We're moving forward, inch by inch. ;P
The pay is horrible, the hours are horrible, but it's more than I was making at home. ;P
I am working at a daycare center, kind of floating between the infants room and the Pre-K room, afternoons from 2-6:45pm. I mean it works for me right now, it's bringing a little extra money in and I have my mornings for doctor's appointments, etc..
Eventually I will need full-time, but for now it's good. :)
Aiden really enjoyed his first day at daycare yesterday. He made new friends and got to play with them. He may have driven his teacher a bit crazy, but it's all new to him, he still has to learn his limits there. He'll get it, it's just going to take time.
-------------------
Clara is about to start seeing her new surgeon. Her appointment is set for the 30th of this month. I wish I knew how she felt about meeting him but she rarely speaks to me about her feelings unless she's angry about something. :/
Mary is having some trouble with her stomach still, I am honestly considering calling the nurse and telling her we are done with the Enbrel. Ever since that first shot her stomach has been messed up and y'all know from the previous post on Enbrel, stomach problems from little to big can occur because of this drug. I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. But at the same time, she's hurting. Her shoulders, her back, her legs, knees, ankles, and feet...she's in pain. I don't know the right choice here. I really don't. I know some of the pain has to do with her scoliosis too though...so there is that to consider. Enbrel does nothing for that.
Kat's doing good. It seems as she gets older, the easier she is to handle. Her ADHD and her ODD are still in full effect and still raging on, but it takes less and less time for me to get her to focus and listen to what I'm saying to her, whether she obeys or not is another story, but baby steps...baby steps. We're moving forward, inch by inch. ;P
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