Stress, stress and more stress

I really think I need a vacation. With everything we deal with and everything that we face day after day right now, getting in the car and driving away just sounds so tempting and so very inviting.

I need to find peace... somewhere, anywhere, other than here. In the mountains or at the beach, I don't really care right now, I just want to runaway for a little while.

I feel like I am drowning in everything.

When you are already dealing with something that affects every aspect of not only your life, but of everyone in your family's lives, you just wish that anything else that is even a little bit stressful, would just pause itself.

So the baby constantly taking his diaper off and either peeing or pooping in the floor, Kathryn's behavioral issues, Clara's bad attitude and disrespect toward Johnnie and I, Clara and Mary's constant fighting and arguing, Mary and Kat's constant fighting and arguing, and Clara and Kat's constant fighting and arguing, the messes that only I know how to clean for some reason, the endless hill of laundry, the floors that are never clean enough, the dishes that never seem to be done and having to make each and every meal and snack, each and every day *deep breath* you just have to stop and sit silently, crying and wish that all of that could just slow down or pause for a minute, just so you can breathe again before you have to start on yet another task...because you are still lost in the fact that your baby is hurting and swelling and there is nothing you can do to fix her.
You can't stop the swelling. You can't make the pain go away. You can't keep your 10 year old daughter from having to use a wheelchair just to get through the school day, you can't do anything to make it so that she will get a good night's sleep, you can't make her foot not hurt when she stands up...you can't do anything. You can't protect her from herself. And you just feel so lost and overwhelmed.

All of that along with not being able to find the right job for Johnnie, our taxes getting messed up, Clara's doctor's appointments coming up, Clara now complaining that her knees are hurting her, Kathryn's very important dental appointments coming up (she is having a root canal done and two fillings), Aiden's dental appointments, Mary's doctor's appointments and dental appointments and eye exam...I am running in a rat race that I feel like I just cannot win. I'd give anything to be able to hire an assistant. Or a nanny.

Or just be able to buy them the shoes they need, the clothes they need, separate beds so Mary can sleep without being hit at night, the equipment that Mary needs... and a trip.

Oh, how we need to escape reality for a few days.

Have you ever been there? Like, it doesn't even matter that you know that the problems will go with you, and you know the problems will be there when you get back, you just feel like from where you are sitting, day in and day out, you cannot breathe there anymore, and if you could just leave and go anywhere else, you would feel better? That's how we are ALL feeling right now.

It's just too much. We need a break.

We need this....

Or we need this...

It doesn't matter where, or for how long, but we definitely need to get away from this...