I was taking Clara to school this morning with Marian and we were listening to the radio like we always do, flipping through the stations and stopping on songs that we love to hear and really love to sing.
As often happens, a song came on that brought back a memory, a memory that I hold tight to, a memory that brings back feelings of happiness, security, and awe. It was such a small thing, nothing of any significance really, but it has hung around and been with me since I was a small child.
As often happens, a song came on that brought back a memory, a memory that I hold tight to, a memory that brings back feelings of happiness, security, and awe. It was such a small thing, nothing of any significance really, but it has hung around and been with me since I was a small child.
The song was Take It To The Limit by The Eagles. The memory is of my Aunt Joann.
Take It To The Limit
I spent the entire ride from Stockbridge to McDonough telling my girls about their Aunt Joann, who they would have loved and who would have adored them...had she had a chance to get to know them.
Life has a way of keeping people apart, either because of time or because of circumstance. We drift apart and no matter how much we mean to each other, we lose touch. That's what happened with us and my Aunt Joann. So she only met my girls a handful of times and only in a huge group setting when all of the family was together. My girls really missed out on knowing an amazing person. So this is what I told them this morning about this incredible woman that they never had a chance to love....
Joann was one of a kind. That is such a generic understatement, but man, if you knew her at all, even just in passing, you know it to be 100% truth. You could meet her once and remember her forever. And if you ever had the blessing of being in the room with her when she laughed a real Joann laugh, you'll never forget it. Her laugh was infectious, it was contagious. You could be having the worst day ever and she would say something stupid and totally inappropriate, and then laugh her amazing laugh and within seconds, you'd be laughing too. And she'd just look at you, with this Joann look, like "See, it's not all that bad" and everything was ok again, at least while you were there with her it was.
She was tough. She had her troubles, man did she ever? But she was awesome. She'd piss you off and just make you swear and kick things, and then she'd hug you and smile at you, and say something completely out of the way, and you couldn't be mad at her. She had bar fights, with grown men. LOL She was this tiny little thing who thought she was bigger than everyone else when she was mad or passionate about something. I was scared to death to piss her off when I was a kid (and some as an adult). But if she loved you, you knew it. You never had to question her love for you, her sanity, maybe, but never her love. You knew that if you needed her, ever, for any reason, she had your back...no questions, she was there.
It's really hard to write this, y'all. I want to see her, talk to her, hug her so bad. I wish my kids had gotten the chance to know her. To have someone like her love them.
When I was small, I was hell on wheels. My family didn't like me much. I was a difficult child, (I'm not much better as an adult), and when I'd ask to spend the night with someone, they'd always have that hesitance, lol. Who could blame them? But Joann didn't. At least I never saw it if she did. She could handle me. I knew better than to sass her or back talk her, and I dang sure knew to do what I was told. She didn't play. If she said she was going to do something, she meant it. And there wasn't more than one warning. She'd pick me up and take me shopping and out to eat and then we'd go hang out with her friends at their house or hers, she didn't mind having a little bratty kid tagging along with her. She loved me. She didn't get sick of me, she didn't get ill with me, she didn't even show if she was irritated with me. She let me sleep in between her and her boyfriend, Steve when I got scared at night and if that didn't work, and I wanted to go home at midnight, she took me home. I know that had to be crappy, but she didn't show me if it angered her. And she'd pick me up again. I didn't phase her. LOL
My memories of her are abundant. But the one tied to this song is a day that me, her and Mom were in her little sports car, riding through streets that were big and busy and unfamiliar to me, (I was really young). Her and Mom were in the front seats, Joann was driving. Mom was wearing a red miniskirt with zippers all over it, I think..and Joann was wearing a black miniskirt with a white top and black spiked heels. They were laughing together and listening to this song. We were going to the airport for some reason. I remember Joann shifting the gears on the car and I remember her legs and how they looked shifting and hitting the clutch in those heels. I remember her laugh and then Mom laughed. I was flopping around in the backseat and I remember Joann telling me to sit still or she'd pull the car over and whoop my butt. And then I just remember watching them and studying their faces and seeing how they interacted together, how Mom brushed over Joann's hand when she laughed at something Joann said and how much they loved each other,and how much I loved them... this song playing in the background...it just made a memory that I will never forget. It has stayed with me ever since that day, and it rushes over me everytime I hear this song.
I love her and miss her so much. I know she would have loved my babies. And it's sad to know that they will never know her or her heart. But I share my memories with them and they love her through me.
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