Ok, so tonight the girls wanted to visit another church. This church was "Clara's church" for a long time, and they have a "cool bus" that comes to pick the kids up and brings them home. They love it. They were so excited about going to church.
Today is Mary's birthday. She turns 11 years old. We celebrated with a strawberry shortcake, our favorite and homemade chicken and dumplings. She got a Roblox gift card which she was thrilled about. Then she did 2 hours of school and immediately jumped on Roblox when she was done. She was a happy girl. :) <3
Then it came time to get ready for church. Clara was happy to be going, she wanted to see her church family and friends and Kathryn was thrilled to go too. Mary was ok until she stepped outside and she sat down and looked at me and Mom, and said she didn't know why, but she was scared to get on the bus. She said she wanted to go to church, but she didn't want to get on the bus. When she got on the bus, she looked back at me and had a really nervous look on her face.
She sat down anyway, they waved bye as the bus pulled away down our hill and I went inside to start on school. Johnnie called and I talked to him, then I started school and about halfway through Mom comes in my room telling me to "stay calm, the kids are ok but"...I didn't hear anything coherently after that, I heard "bus...fire...kids..."
My heart stopped y'all. Three of my babies were on that bus. All of my girls. It's Mary's birthday. I barely remember snatching the keys, running out of the front door and taking off in the car. I sped past the police cars and flew up the hill behind our house to see the kids standing on the side of the road and the firefighters standing around the bus.
Clara saw me first, or maybe I saw her, I don't know. But she started walking toward me. Then I saw Mary, then Kathryn. Another bus was sitting beside me on the road. I don't even know which one of us got there first. The lady who talked to me when they got on the bus came to talk to me, but I didn't hear a word she said...I just kept asking if my kids were ok, even though I could see they were, I couldn't stop saying it. "Are they ok?" "Are they ok?"
Mary came and put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Can I come home with you?" I of course told her to get in the car. But Clara and Kat wanted to go on the new bus. That one wasn't on fire, so I let them go.
I just kept hugging Mary when we got home.
Man, I couldn't even see straight y'all. I don't know how I drove that car to where they were. My mind was floating. That's the only way I can explain the feeling. Everything was blurry around me and my nerves felt like fire in my veins. I still haven't stopped shaking completely and it's been about an hour.
I would not handle something bad happening to my kids, y'all. I have always felt that way, and now I know for sure... If something happens to one of my babies, you might as well shoot me. Put me down. Cause I am not going to be any good to anyone anymore after that.
They are safe now. And they were safe then. God was holding my babies. Thank you, God! Thank you!
Whom Shall I Fear
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Monday, September 12, 2016
Rough Few Weeks Here
Man, we have been going through it.
I'm not kidding.
We have been barely treading water.
I think the only thing I am sure of these days is my love for my children. Anything beyond that is sketchy to say the least.
Most days the stress levels are so high that I feel like I am tetering a fence that stands between uncertainty and defeat, and it sucks.
I live my life trying to make the right choices, even if that means the tough choices, so that I am doing what's right for my kids. Yet, it feels like I rarely get it right. I seem to always be pissing someone off with the choices and decisions that I make. Even if I am trying to be responsible and do what's right, it backfires.
My kids are everything to me. I wish I could give them everything they need, most of what they want, and a little extra from time to time, but it seems like I am telling them "No" more than I am telling them "Yes" and they are tired of hearing it.
I'd give anything to be able to give them a home that was just ours and rooms of their own, knowing that we aren't going to lose it around the corner. I wish I could make the floor beneath their feet as stable as a rock and promise them that nothing would ever catch them by surprise or change for the worse ever again. I think that is the most basic need of every child, a strong foundation. Unfortunately, I made bad choices early on in life that continue to keep me ten steps behind in every step forward that I take.
It's like drowning, over and over again, and there's nothing to grab onto.
This is the underlying reason for most of my stress. Everyday I wake up in the same life, waiting, waiting for something to change for the better, waiting for the checks to get bigger, waiting for that second car so I can get a job and have that second income, waiting for us to be able to claim bankruptcy so that we can start fresh and begin to build our credit back up, waiting to be able to buy a house, waiting to be able to supply the most basic needs to our children consistently. Waiting...it seems like I am always waiting on life to start.
I woke up about a week ago and looked at Clara and Marian and realized that while we are waiting on the money to come in so that we can "get things right", we have let them grow up. They have lived most of their life that they will live with us, with nothing. Because they have been waiting too. They are waiting to be able to afford to go to the Skating Rink and waiting for me to be able to afford a babysitter for the babies so I can take them to the skating rink. They have been waiting to go to Six Flags because we are waiting to be able to afford it, waiting to be able to afford a babysitter because the babies can't ride anything. They have been waiting to have their own room and their own space, they have been waiting to have a place to go to for alone time, they have been waiting for a night at the movies or a Friday evening restaurant night, they have been waiting on that family vacation, they have been waiting through their lives.
And I'm sick of it.
I am sick of telling them no. I am tired of having to say "One day...". I am tired of telling them to wait a little longer.
And so Mommy has been on edge lately. And the kids are on edge because they are tired of waiting too. They are busting at the seams wanting their own space. They are suffering Cabin Fever and just want to get out of the same ole', same ole'. So we have all been at each other's throats it seems. Everyone is riddled with anxiety and boredom.
We need time to slow down and life to move forward. We need a house. We need to find our stability again and hold on to it for dear life. The kids need to finally have their home back. So that we can let our lives begin.
I'm not kidding.
We have been barely treading water.
I think the only thing I am sure of these days is my love for my children. Anything beyond that is sketchy to say the least.
Most days the stress levels are so high that I feel like I am tetering a fence that stands between uncertainty and defeat, and it sucks.
I live my life trying to make the right choices, even if that means the tough choices, so that I am doing what's right for my kids. Yet, it feels like I rarely get it right. I seem to always be pissing someone off with the choices and decisions that I make. Even if I am trying to be responsible and do what's right, it backfires.
My kids are everything to me. I wish I could give them everything they need, most of what they want, and a little extra from time to time, but it seems like I am telling them "No" more than I am telling them "Yes" and they are tired of hearing it.
I'd give anything to be able to give them a home that was just ours and rooms of their own, knowing that we aren't going to lose it around the corner. I wish I could make the floor beneath their feet as stable as a rock and promise them that nothing would ever catch them by surprise or change for the worse ever again. I think that is the most basic need of every child, a strong foundation. Unfortunately, I made bad choices early on in life that continue to keep me ten steps behind in every step forward that I take.
It's like drowning, over and over again, and there's nothing to grab onto.
This is the underlying reason for most of my stress. Everyday I wake up in the same life, waiting, waiting for something to change for the better, waiting for the checks to get bigger, waiting for that second car so I can get a job and have that second income, waiting for us to be able to claim bankruptcy so that we can start fresh and begin to build our credit back up, waiting to be able to buy a house, waiting to be able to supply the most basic needs to our children consistently. Waiting...it seems like I am always waiting on life to start.
I woke up about a week ago and looked at Clara and Marian and realized that while we are waiting on the money to come in so that we can "get things right", we have let them grow up. They have lived most of their life that they will live with us, with nothing. Because they have been waiting too. They are waiting to be able to afford to go to the Skating Rink and waiting for me to be able to afford a babysitter for the babies so I can take them to the skating rink. They have been waiting to go to Six Flags because we are waiting to be able to afford it, waiting to be able to afford a babysitter because the babies can't ride anything. They have been waiting to have their own room and their own space, they have been waiting to have a place to go to for alone time, they have been waiting for a night at the movies or a Friday evening restaurant night, they have been waiting on that family vacation, they have been waiting through their lives.
And I'm sick of it.
I am sick of telling them no. I am tired of having to say "One day...". I am tired of telling them to wait a little longer.
And so Mommy has been on edge lately. And the kids are on edge because they are tired of waiting too. They are busting at the seams wanting their own space. They are suffering Cabin Fever and just want to get out of the same ole', same ole'. So we have all been at each other's throats it seems. Everyone is riddled with anxiety and boredom.
We need time to slow down and life to move forward. We need a house. We need to find our stability again and hold on to it for dear life. The kids need to finally have their home back. So that we can let our lives begin.
Monday, August 29, 2016
Irritated Mommy
Marian's lungs have been sick for weeks now. I took her to her Pediatrician's office but she didn't get to see her usual doctor. The doctor that she saw is a total flop doc, she sucks. She didn't listen very well during Kat's well child visit and she has failed to send Kat's 504 forms over to the school.
When I took Mary to see her, she listened to her lungs, said they were clear, asked if she had any allergies or any past problems with asthma and then just wrote it off as allergies. I am starting to believe she bought her degree online at Amazon.com. SMH
I don't know for sure, but I am starting to wonder if this is a symptom of Mary's JA.
She's taking her inhaler off and on all day long and into the night and she is still having trouble breathing without coughing like crazy. I am making another doctor's appointment and demanding to see her doctor. This is ridiculous.
Now as for Kathryn Olivia, I feel a war coming on. Her teacher is giving me the idea that she doesn't believe anything that I have discussed with her about Kathryn. You know, the one thing that stands out about my kid's real Pediatrician? He listens to the parents! He actually listens, takes into account the parents opinions and thoughts on what's going on with their child and he BELIEVES that they actually know their kids well enough to know if something is going on or not. Most teachers that I have come into contact with believe that the parents are idiots and have no clue what they are talking about when it comes to their own children. And they treat you as such.
Kathryn checked a book out from the school library. We have made absolute certain to keep it in her bookbag so it would not get lost. Today was the day to turn it in. She said she put it on the table when the teacher asked her to, but the teacher said that she didn't turn it in, so Kat was not allowed to check out another book with the other kids.
*deep breath* Counting to 10......
I cannot say what happened. I cannot say that Kat made it to the table with her book. What I can say is that we read it this morning before she got on the bus and put it in her bookbag. She got on the bus and went to school. (Then this big thing happened that I will write about later).
She had it when she got on the bus, so I know she had it. She says she put it on the table. So I wrote her teacher. She asked me the name of the book that Kathryn had checked out... o.O
o.O
O.o
............
If she didn't know what book Kat had checked out, how does she know that Kat didn't turn it in? o.O
How does she know that Kat's book wasn't in the rest of the books?
Ok, so then she tells me, "This is a general responsibility of a 5 year old. I can't keep up with all 27 books. If she can't check out a book long enough, she will start to remember to turn her book in."
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-in-children.htm#inattentive
When I took Mary to see her, she listened to her lungs, said they were clear, asked if she had any allergies or any past problems with asthma and then just wrote it off as allergies. I am starting to believe she bought her degree online at Amazon.com. SMH
I don't know for sure, but I am starting to wonder if this is a symptom of Mary's JA.
She's taking her inhaler off and on all day long and into the night and she is still having trouble breathing without coughing like crazy. I am making another doctor's appointment and demanding to see her doctor. This is ridiculous.
Now as for Kathryn Olivia, I feel a war coming on. Her teacher is giving me the idea that she doesn't believe anything that I have discussed with her about Kathryn. You know, the one thing that stands out about my kid's real Pediatrician? He listens to the parents! He actually listens, takes into account the parents opinions and thoughts on what's going on with their child and he BELIEVES that they actually know their kids well enough to know if something is going on or not. Most teachers that I have come into contact with believe that the parents are idiots and have no clue what they are talking about when it comes to their own children. And they treat you as such.
Kathryn checked a book out from the school library. We have made absolute certain to keep it in her bookbag so it would not get lost. Today was the day to turn it in. She said she put it on the table when the teacher asked her to, but the teacher said that she didn't turn it in, so Kat was not allowed to check out another book with the other kids.
*deep breath* Counting to 10......
I cannot say what happened. I cannot say that Kat made it to the table with her book. What I can say is that we read it this morning before she got on the bus and put it in her bookbag. She got on the bus and went to school. (Then this big thing happened that I will write about later).
She had it when she got on the bus, so I know she had it. She says she put it on the table. So I wrote her teacher. She asked me the name of the book that Kathryn had checked out... o.O
o.O
O.o
............
If she didn't know what book Kat had checked out, how does she know that Kat didn't turn it in? o.O
How does she know that Kat's book wasn't in the rest of the books?
Ok, so then she tells me, "This is a general responsibility of a 5 year old. I can't keep up with all 27 books. If she can't check out a book long enough, she will start to remember to turn her book in."
Symptoms of inattention in children:
- Doesn’t pay attention to details
- Makes careless mistakes
- Has trouble staying focused; is easily distracted
- Appears not to listen when spoken to
- Has difficulty remembering things and following instructions
- Has trouble staying organized, planning ahead, and finishing projects
- Gets bored with a task before it’s completed
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-in-children.htm#inattentive
I am so furious!
This teacher assured me that she understood Kat's condition. She made me believe that she was going to be 100% able to handle Kathryn and that she would be patient and understanding. She is not being any of those things. If you can tell me that my child is just like the rest and compare her to the neurotypical children in her class, then she isn't listening to me. Which tells me that she must not hold much value in what I am telling her about MY baby girl.
A little girl that I have raised for almost 6 years. A little girl who I noticed from birth was different. She didn't laugh, she didn't smile, she didn't coo like her sisters had or like the other babies in the nursery.
She has always had sensory troubles. As a baby bright lights, noises and smells would set her off and it was crazy trying to calm her down. Every morning, even though she knows it's going to happen, when the bus stops at the bus stop and the driver opens the door, it makes this loud pop noise and Kat slams her hands over her ears and gets this terrified look on her face and for a brief second EVERY SINGLE MORNING, she thinks about running to me to bury herself in my arms because of the loud popping sound that the bus door makes when it opens. I am the one who has seen her meltdown over her food touching or over the smell of something strange to her, or the house being in disarray, or her blankie being in the wrong place, or an ant crawling across the ground, or someone looking at her, or because someone spoke to her when she wasn't ready. I am the one who has had countless nights awake until morning hours because of her night terrors and the major fits that she has in her sleep. Last night we were up and down as she screamed, cried and begged, "Please let me go!! Please let me goooooo!"
I have watched her try so hard to fit in with other kids and not be able to make them stay to play with her because she got too loud, she got too upset, she got too overzealous, she was too Kat..
I am the one who has sat back and watched her walk two steps and completely forget what she was told to do, a simple one step direction, just gone...poof! She honestly doesn't remember that we even spoke about her doing something. I have watched her get so upset she broke down crying, heart wrenching sobs because she was trying so hard to help me do a task that she couldn't remember what she was supposed to do. She gets so frustrated with herself, so I Know she isn't making it up or milking it or doing it just because she thinks she can use her ADHD as an excuse. She doesn't want to struggle through everything, she doesn't like to forget things or to get in trouble because she can't calm down or for saying everything that crosses her mind, etc... She really can't help it.
People just don't get this. So many people are just plain ignorant and cannot understand that ADHD is real and it has a very real affect on these kids and how they do things. They cannot be lumped in with the neurotypical kids and be expected to act and think like all of the other kids their age. That single thought alone is just so ridiculous and really rubs me the wrong way.
Something has to give with this school situation. This mama bear is about to get really upset.
So the thing that happened this morning...
While we were at the bus stop, (Kat wanted to ride the bus again and she has had a better experience with it so far), a dog and a cat came to the yard. The dog came close enough for Kat to just barely let her fingers run down over his back. She didn't even get a full pet on him. She got on the bus, I came back and laid back down. 30 minutes later, the school nurse was calling me to bring benadryl up to Kat. Her face was swollen and splotchy. Her eyes were puffy and red and watering. She had an allergic reaction to the neighbors dog!! The dog lives with a cat, that's the only thing I can think of. She has never had an allergic reaction to anything but cats in the past. So I took her the medicine and washed her hands and face in the nurse's sink and let her go back to class.
When she got home this afternoon, she was back to her normal self except that she got a little sunburned at the pool during Clara and Marian's pool party yesterday for their birthdays. Now she is sound asleep and she's doing good so far. No night terrors as of yet. *Fingers crossed* that it remains that way.
This teacher assured me that she understood Kat's condition. She made me believe that she was going to be 100% able to handle Kathryn and that she would be patient and understanding. She is not being any of those things. If you can tell me that my child is just like the rest and compare her to the neurotypical children in her class, then she isn't listening to me. Which tells me that she must not hold much value in what I am telling her about MY baby girl.
A little girl that I have raised for almost 6 years. A little girl who I noticed from birth was different. She didn't laugh, she didn't smile, she didn't coo like her sisters had or like the other babies in the nursery.
She has always had sensory troubles. As a baby bright lights, noises and smells would set her off and it was crazy trying to calm her down. Every morning, even though she knows it's going to happen, when the bus stops at the bus stop and the driver opens the door, it makes this loud pop noise and Kat slams her hands over her ears and gets this terrified look on her face and for a brief second EVERY SINGLE MORNING, she thinks about running to me to bury herself in my arms because of the loud popping sound that the bus door makes when it opens. I am the one who has seen her meltdown over her food touching or over the smell of something strange to her, or the house being in disarray, or her blankie being in the wrong place, or an ant crawling across the ground, or someone looking at her, or because someone spoke to her when she wasn't ready. I am the one who has had countless nights awake until morning hours because of her night terrors and the major fits that she has in her sleep. Last night we were up and down as she screamed, cried and begged, "Please let me go!! Please let me goooooo!"
I have watched her try so hard to fit in with other kids and not be able to make them stay to play with her because she got too loud, she got too upset, she got too overzealous, she was too Kat..
I am the one who has sat back and watched her walk two steps and completely forget what she was told to do, a simple one step direction, just gone...poof! She honestly doesn't remember that we even spoke about her doing something. I have watched her get so upset she broke down crying, heart wrenching sobs because she was trying so hard to help me do a task that she couldn't remember what she was supposed to do. She gets so frustrated with herself, so I Know she isn't making it up or milking it or doing it just because she thinks she can use her ADHD as an excuse. She doesn't want to struggle through everything, she doesn't like to forget things or to get in trouble because she can't calm down or for saying everything that crosses her mind, etc... She really can't help it.
People just don't get this. So many people are just plain ignorant and cannot understand that ADHD is real and it has a very real affect on these kids and how they do things. They cannot be lumped in with the neurotypical kids and be expected to act and think like all of the other kids their age. That single thought alone is just so ridiculous and really rubs me the wrong way.
Something has to give with this school situation. This mama bear is about to get really upset.
So the thing that happened this morning...
While we were at the bus stop, (Kat wanted to ride the bus again and she has had a better experience with it so far), a dog and a cat came to the yard. The dog came close enough for Kat to just barely let her fingers run down over his back. She didn't even get a full pet on him. She got on the bus, I came back and laid back down. 30 minutes later, the school nurse was calling me to bring benadryl up to Kat. Her face was swollen and splotchy. Her eyes were puffy and red and watering. She had an allergic reaction to the neighbors dog!! The dog lives with a cat, that's the only thing I can think of. She has never had an allergic reaction to anything but cats in the past. So I took her the medicine and washed her hands and face in the nurse's sink and let her go back to class.
When she got home this afternoon, she was back to her normal self except that she got a little sunburned at the pool during Clara and Marian's pool party yesterday for their birthdays. Now she is sound asleep and she's doing good so far. No night terrors as of yet. *Fingers crossed* that it remains that way.
Friday, August 26, 2016
Thoughts and Memories
I was taking Clara to school this morning with Marian and we were listening to the radio like we always do, flipping through the stations and stopping on songs that we love to hear and really love to sing.
As often happens, a song came on that brought back a memory, a memory that I hold tight to, a memory that brings back feelings of happiness, security, and awe. It was such a small thing, nothing of any significance really, but it has hung around and been with me since I was a small child.
As often happens, a song came on that brought back a memory, a memory that I hold tight to, a memory that brings back feelings of happiness, security, and awe. It was such a small thing, nothing of any significance really, but it has hung around and been with me since I was a small child.
The song was Take It To The Limit by The Eagles. The memory is of my Aunt Joann.
Take It To The Limit
I spent the entire ride from Stockbridge to McDonough telling my girls about their Aunt Joann, who they would have loved and who would have adored them...had she had a chance to get to know them.
Life has a way of keeping people apart, either because of time or because of circumstance. We drift apart and no matter how much we mean to each other, we lose touch. That's what happened with us and my Aunt Joann. So she only met my girls a handful of times and only in a huge group setting when all of the family was together. My girls really missed out on knowing an amazing person. So this is what I told them this morning about this incredible woman that they never had a chance to love....
Joann was one of a kind. That is such a generic understatement, but man, if you knew her at all, even just in passing, you know it to be 100% truth. You could meet her once and remember her forever. And if you ever had the blessing of being in the room with her when she laughed a real Joann laugh, you'll never forget it. Her laugh was infectious, it was contagious. You could be having the worst day ever and she would say something stupid and totally inappropriate, and then laugh her amazing laugh and within seconds, you'd be laughing too. And she'd just look at you, with this Joann look, like "See, it's not all that bad" and everything was ok again, at least while you were there with her it was.
She was tough. She had her troubles, man did she ever? But she was awesome. She'd piss you off and just make you swear and kick things, and then she'd hug you and smile at you, and say something completely out of the way, and you couldn't be mad at her. She had bar fights, with grown men. LOL She was this tiny little thing who thought she was bigger than everyone else when she was mad or passionate about something. I was scared to death to piss her off when I was a kid (and some as an adult). But if she loved you, you knew it. You never had to question her love for you, her sanity, maybe, but never her love. You knew that if you needed her, ever, for any reason, she had your back...no questions, she was there.
It's really hard to write this, y'all. I want to see her, talk to her, hug her so bad. I wish my kids had gotten the chance to know her. To have someone like her love them.
When I was small, I was hell on wheels. My family didn't like me much. I was a difficult child, (I'm not much better as an adult), and when I'd ask to spend the night with someone, they'd always have that hesitance, lol. Who could blame them? But Joann didn't. At least I never saw it if she did. She could handle me. I knew better than to sass her or back talk her, and I dang sure knew to do what I was told. She didn't play. If she said she was going to do something, she meant it. And there wasn't more than one warning. She'd pick me up and take me shopping and out to eat and then we'd go hang out with her friends at their house or hers, she didn't mind having a little bratty kid tagging along with her. She loved me. She didn't get sick of me, she didn't get ill with me, she didn't even show if she was irritated with me. She let me sleep in between her and her boyfriend, Steve when I got scared at night and if that didn't work, and I wanted to go home at midnight, she took me home. I know that had to be crappy, but she didn't show me if it angered her. And she'd pick me up again. I didn't phase her. LOL
My memories of her are abundant. But the one tied to this song is a day that me, her and Mom were in her little sports car, riding through streets that were big and busy and unfamiliar to me, (I was really young). Her and Mom were in the front seats, Joann was driving. Mom was wearing a red miniskirt with zippers all over it, I think..and Joann was wearing a black miniskirt with a white top and black spiked heels. They were laughing together and listening to this song. We were going to the airport for some reason. I remember Joann shifting the gears on the car and I remember her legs and how they looked shifting and hitting the clutch in those heels. I remember her laugh and then Mom laughed. I was flopping around in the backseat and I remember Joann telling me to sit still or she'd pull the car over and whoop my butt. And then I just remember watching them and studying their faces and seeing how they interacted together, how Mom brushed over Joann's hand when she laughed at something Joann said and how much they loved each other,and how much I loved them... this song playing in the background...it just made a memory that I will never forget. It has stayed with me ever since that day, and it rushes over me everytime I hear this song.
I love her and miss her so much. I know she would have loved my babies. And it's sad to know that they will never know her or her heart. But I share my memories with them and they love her through me.
Monday, August 15, 2016
Public School, Here We Come!
Y'all, it has really just been one of those days. From beginning to now, it has been a hair pulling, skin crawling, eye scratching, crying, screaming, awful kind of day.
The girls home schooling may not be the best idea afterall. I did it because I am afraid of Clara going to middle school and learning things she doesn't need to be learning right now and because of Mary's health. But I am seriously second guessing my choices.
All summer I talked to them and did my best to prepare them for homeschool and what their responsibilities would be. Ie..school work, talking to their teachers when they need to, webinars, testing, getting up and doing the work without a fight, no arguing or talking back at all but especially about doing their work, etc...
So far it has been all of that. They don't want to get up. They don't want to do their work the way they are supposed to be doing it. They think because it's Mommy, they can slack off and talk back. Clara has 6 weeks until I can take her little butt to middle school, she's going back. I cannot deal with this attitude and her failing 6th grade because she doesn't want to participate.
Mary does her work when I'm not looking and fails to bring me in on it, ever. So I am not being told when she needs help or if she has a project due, etc. But she doesn't want to do it how she's supposed to be either. She wants to do it when she wants and how much she wants.
They are confused. They are defiant. They are going back to public school.
One thing I won't do, is allow them to fall behind or think that they can slack off from school. I thought they were mature enough to handle this, I was wrong.
Friday, August 12, 2016
We Have Fishies!
This morning we went to get Johnnie's new cell phone. On our way into the store, we saw the fish. Aiden had never seen the fish before. Or at least he hadn't with us, and not since he's been old enough to understand and remember. He was so excited. Watching him watch them was so sweet. I just couldn't leave without the fish. And they are supposed to be good for kids with ADHD/ASD, so they would benefit Kat too. We bought the darn fish. And not just any ole fish either, we bought the Glofish. He got an orange one (Hobgoblin), a green one (Hulk to Aiden, Green Goblin to Kat), and a sucker fish that Clara named Venom. :) My kids are all big time comic fans. :) Good parenting? I think so. ;)
So we got home and set up the Aquarium just for Johnnie to point out to me that it's probably not big enough for the 2 fish and a big sucker fish. Then tonight, Mom and Daddy told me the same thing. Apparently I am the only one who didn't know this, so we will be switching to a larger one asap.
We put it in the kid's room, and they turned off the lights and just sat in awe of the glowing fish in the glowing Aquarium. :P
Kat didn't get to see it until she got home from school. When she did, she let out a very loud, high pitched squeal and had a huge smile on her face..which means she was super happy.
Aiden has been just sitting and staring at them and watching them off and on all day. He has to tell everyone who will listen about his fish and what their names are. He is proud of his pet fishies.
This afternoon I picked Kat up from school and she handed me her folder with her report in it. She got an "N". I couldn't even be upset y'all, she did better than yesterday. An "N" is better than a "U". She said she tried really hard, but she got in trouble for talking and some little boy named Alex told the teacher a lie about her and said she cussed and said the "S" word, and she tried to tell the teacher she didn't, but she didn't believe her, but her real friends told the teacher and she thinks she believed her better then and won't believe a word that Alex says anymore.
Oh my Kathryn. <3
She drives me crazy, y'all. She really knows how to push my buttons without even knowing she's doing it and I'm not always great at controlling my reactions like I should, I'm still learning at this, but man oh man, that girl. She's just as amazing as she is frustrating. I love her to pieces. She's something else. ;)
I finally got to order her chewable jewelry (chewelry) necklace. I also got her a bendable doll that is supposed to help her focus and calm down when she gets worked up. I can't wait to see her face when she gets them. :) <3 Now if I could just get someone to make her a weighted blanket. I sure wish I could sew, I'd make it for her. She needs one really bad. I'm going to try to make her some sensory bottles soon too. I might make one for Aiden while I'm at it. I think he'd like them too.
Sensory Bottles (DIY)
Weighted Blanket (DIY)
I had to come back and add some stuff. I can't believe I didn't remember to update about out first two days eating GFDF! My mind is shot, y'all.
So we did great at dinner last night. GFDF Chicken tenders, steamed broccoli and rice. Everyone liked it except for Kat. She ate the rice and broccoli but she wanted ham roll ups instead of the tenders. Aiden ate them so good that he wanted to take it to bed with him at bedtime, lol
Today I gave them a taste of our different SILK milks. One almond regular, and one almond coconut. Aiden and Kat both despise the Almond regular, but man Aiden was an immediate fan of the almond coconut. He had two cups of it today. Kat says she will drink tea and water. So be it then.
Dinner was successful tonight too. I am excited about tomorrow. They get tacos, they are going to be so happy to find out they can still have them...just healthier. ;)
Sensory Bottles (DIY)
Weighted Blanket (DIY)
I had to come back and add some stuff. I can't believe I didn't remember to update about out first two days eating GFDF! My mind is shot, y'all.
So we did great at dinner last night. GFDF Chicken tenders, steamed broccoli and rice. Everyone liked it except for Kat. She ate the rice and broccoli but she wanted ham roll ups instead of the tenders. Aiden ate them so good that he wanted to take it to bed with him at bedtime, lol
Today I gave them a taste of our different SILK milks. One almond regular, and one almond coconut. Aiden and Kat both despise the Almond regular, but man Aiden was an immediate fan of the almond coconut. He had two cups of it today. Kat says she will drink tea and water. So be it then.
Dinner was successful tonight too. I am excited about tomorrow. They get tacos, they are going to be so happy to find out they can still have them...just healthier. ;)
Thursday, August 11, 2016
It Has Begun...
In Kindergarten, they don't send a behavioral report home weekly or every 6 weeks like some do..no, they tell you every single day just how much your child is acting up. I cannot even begin to tell you how hard this is. I have to correct her behavior when a bad report comes in because she can't continue the things she gets in trouble for at school, but she is 5 and she isn't like the rest of the kids. She cries every time and tells me how hard she's trying, but it's so hard to do it all right all day long.
My heart is broken for my baby. :(
She just doesn't work like the other kids. Her mind isn't the same, ya know? And I know, I have heard it all before, "She just needs discipline", "She is just a bad kid who doesn't want to do what she's told", "It's bad parenting", etc...but I am here to tell you now that it is none of that nonsense. She really runs on a different platform. She is wired in a different way. She is super, super freaking smart, she is articulate like you wouldn't believe, she understands book stuff, but her mind never slows down, even in her sleep. She is always thinking of a hundred different things at one time and it makes it hard for her to concentrate on the one thing you want her to stop and focus on.
It affects her behavior. If she can't slow down, she can't remember what you told her in the moment that her brain is pulling her into another direction. She knows what she is supposed to do if you ask her, but in the moment, she can't make the right choice. I don't know how to put it into words. But I understand it. I know her. I bet Moms of other ADHD and ASD affected children can understand though.
Her heart breaks when she gets in trouble. She wants so badly to "be good". I don't know what to do for her. This is what I have been dreading all summer. I knew this was coming. I wish there was a school just for kids like her close to us. Because even if the teachers say they understand and that they can handle it, they don't and they can't. They only know one way to treat kids and they only know one way to teach them. But not every kid fits into that one box. Kat is definitely outside of the box.
And I totally understand getting frustrated with her. Especially when she is just full on Kat. But to nit pick at her, knowing her circumstance, is just uncalled for.
One day though. One day my baby is going to show them all. She has something very special inside of her. She will come out on top, I know she will.
She had her 6 year old check up a few days ago. The first thing the doctor said was, "Have you discussed meds with Dr. B?" (We didn't see her usual Pediatrician). I knew it was coming.
So last night I got rid of all of our "bad food" and today I stocked up on GFDF (Gluten Free, Dairy Free) foods. I also ditched anything I could find in there that had artificial coloring. Thank God I was able to find the babies water flavoring without gluten or artificial coloring!
I am going to try to help her through diet before I let them try meds on her. I am terrified of giving her ADHD meds. Too many deaths in the past that can be linked to those meds. Not this blonde haired little beauty.
This is the gown they gave her to put on at the doctor. You can see what she thought of it. LOL She was cracking up at how big it was.
My heart is broken for my baby. :(
She just doesn't work like the other kids. Her mind isn't the same, ya know? And I know, I have heard it all before, "She just needs discipline", "She is just a bad kid who doesn't want to do what she's told", "It's bad parenting", etc...but I am here to tell you now that it is none of that nonsense. She really runs on a different platform. She is wired in a different way. She is super, super freaking smart, she is articulate like you wouldn't believe, she understands book stuff, but her mind never slows down, even in her sleep. She is always thinking of a hundred different things at one time and it makes it hard for her to concentrate on the one thing you want her to stop and focus on.
It affects her behavior. If she can't slow down, she can't remember what you told her in the moment that her brain is pulling her into another direction. She knows what she is supposed to do if you ask her, but in the moment, she can't make the right choice. I don't know how to put it into words. But I understand it. I know her. I bet Moms of other ADHD and ASD affected children can understand though.
Her heart breaks when she gets in trouble. She wants so badly to "be good". I don't know what to do for her. This is what I have been dreading all summer. I knew this was coming. I wish there was a school just for kids like her close to us. Because even if the teachers say they understand and that they can handle it, they don't and they can't. They only know one way to treat kids and they only know one way to teach them. But not every kid fits into that one box. Kat is definitely outside of the box.
And I totally understand getting frustrated with her. Especially when she is just full on Kat. But to nit pick at her, knowing her circumstance, is just uncalled for.
One day though. One day my baby is going to show them all. She has something very special inside of her. She will come out on top, I know she will.
She had her 6 year old check up a few days ago. The first thing the doctor said was, "Have you discussed meds with Dr. B?" (We didn't see her usual Pediatrician). I knew it was coming.
So last night I got rid of all of our "bad food" and today I stocked up on GFDF (Gluten Free, Dairy Free) foods. I also ditched anything I could find in there that had artificial coloring. Thank God I was able to find the babies water flavoring without gluten or artificial coloring!
I am going to try to help her through diet before I let them try meds on her. I am terrified of giving her ADHD meds. Too many deaths in the past that can be linked to those meds. Not this blonde haired little beauty.
This is the gown they gave her to put on at the doctor. You can see what she thought of it. LOL She was cracking up at how big it was.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)