Saying Goodbye

Today was not a good day for our family. While it was great to see everyone, to hug their necks and tell them how good it is to see them, it was not in the best of circumstances.

Today we came together as a family to say goodbye to my Aunt. I'm not going to give names here because my family is a lot more guarded of their privacy than I may be. :/
I will just say that we loved her very much and she will be greatly missed.

I just kept thinking of when I was a little girl and we'd get together for holidays, birthdays, etc. She was always smiling, laughing, cracking a joke. Her laugh was fantastic... If you ever heard her laugh, it's with you, forever.

She was always great to us kids. She always made me feel like there was nothing I could say or do that would change her love for me, and she definitely made me feel loved.

One of the hardest things for me today though, was seeing my Grandmother there in my Aunt's face. I hadn't seen my Aunt in some time, life just kind of has a way of getting in the way of keeping in touch, unfortunately. So I wasn't aware of how much she had come to look like her mother. My heart hurt.

My grandmother was one of the most influential people of my life. And even though she was only there with me for the first part of my life (she wasn't really "there" for most of my adult life due to health troubles), she is with me every single day. I can still hear her voice, smell her perfume, hear her laugh, see the look she got when she wanted me to know she meant business, and if I really think about it, I can still remember what it felt like to hug her neck. But the one thing I will never forget or have to go very far in my memory for is what it felt like to be loved by her. And I have no doubt that she loved me, very much. I miss her so deeply and wish every day that she was still here and could have gotten to know my babies. I wish they could have had her in their lives, and had her influence in their upbringing. My Grandmother was an amazing person. As are her children.

So I kind of had a little bit of an internal meltdown today. I am sad that my Aunt is gone, but I am so happy to know that she is with her Mom again. I know that that was one heck of a reunion. :) <3 I look forward to the day that I get to see them again.