This is REAL

I am a highly emotional person. People love to tell me that I'm "too sensitive" or "take things the wrong way" when they have said something out of place or something offensive and then get a response out of me that might not be the best way to handle it from my side of things.
I find it funny when people do this, not funny "haha" either.

With that said, I made a post the other day (On FB) about how much I wish we had a school, here in our hometown, that was just for kids with ADHD/Austism (on any level). I have had some negative experiences with the school that my daughters both attend, and that will be Kat's school for her elementary years. While it is a fantastic school, it has some less than desirable teachers in it. We have had some really ugly experiences with some teachers there. Clara's (my oldest girls) Kindergarten teach traumatized her so badly, that she stopped talking altogether for an entire year. That same year, she turned inward and has never recovered from that. She developed horrible social anxiety, and actually her entire personality just kind of underwent a change that has lasted until now, and she's about to be 12.

And Clara is my strong child.

Kat is emotional, she is sensitive, she's not as strong. So when someone yells at or around her, raises their voice to her or around her, she wilts, badly. She panics and it causes her anxiety, sometimes putting her into a panic attack. I know from my own personal experience, the teachers at our school yell and scream sometimes at students. I have witnessed it myself walking through the school. They are harsh and outright mean to those students. They treat them like nuisances and like prisoners instead of like children.

Me saying that isn't me saying that all teachers are like that. I understand that they put up with a lot. However, they knew they would when they went into that career and if they can not handle other people's children with dignity and grace, kindness and understanding, and with patience, they need to find new career paths.

-Don't stand in the cafeteria screaming at a kindergartner because he asks you which bathroom he can use because the one closest to him right now is locked.
-You don't push a small child back in line and yell at them, embarrassing and demeaning them in front of their peers.
-You don't get frustrated and grab the handles of a child's wheelchair and move her so harshly, that you bump her hurt hip and wrist into the metal bars of the wheelchair, because she was unable to get herself into the exact position that you wanted her in.
-You don't get in a 5 year old's face, screaming at her because she isn't sitting in the color block on the rug that you told her to sit in.

I have witnessed all of these things. So when I say that I would like a school where the teachers are trained to handle children with behavioral issues, that's not me putting down teachers just to do it. I have my reasons.

Now, in all fairness, we have some exceptional teachers at our school as well. We have teachers that if I could, I would adopt into my family. :)

Teachers that are patient and kind, helpful and understanding. Teachers who are there because they actually love teaching children and they love to see the kids flourish. Teachers who understand that not all kids are the same, they do not all learn the same, they do not all behave the same, they do not all respond to the same types of disciplines. These teachers are real teachers. They are there for all the right reasons. I am forever grateful for teachers like these.

My other issue today is that some people may be questioning me on whether or not Kat has behavioral issues at all. o.O

I have had this happen once before with other family. They didn't believe me either. Until they spent more time with her, and saw it for themselves. Then all of a sudden it was, "We really need to work something out here." or "You really need to talk to her about *insert behavior issue here*.

Kat has shown signs of not only ADHD, but also some type of Autism as well. Whether it is HFA (High Functioning Autism), or ASD (Austism Spectrum Disorder). She also has signs of anxiety and panic disorder and she has really bad night terrors. These things are all very real and present.

My favorite thing in the world is to hear, "She doesn't act that way when she's with us. maybe she's just acting out for y'all." :/

Really? Ok, that's hurtful.

I am with this girl every single day. I know what is there and what isn't. I know there is something more going on than normal acting out and/or ADHD.

Not that I need to give this information, but here it is anyway...

These are some of Kat's symptoms:

1. Trouble getting to sleep on her own, sometimes until 1-2am.
2.  Trouble staying asleep.
3. Waking in fits. Night terrors. 
4. She was fully potty trained, after lots and lots of grief, at the end of two years old, never an accident. In November of 2015, she went backward and started having accidents. Often.
5. She has trouble controlling her impulses. She is clueless to dangers. (Ie. running out into cars, climbing unstable structures, jumping from places that she should be scared to jump from).
6. She has terrible fits and outbursts, meltdowns if you will. Over things that wouldn't normally bother someone. (Ie. the cheese from my burger is touching the box). These can last up to an hour at times. And she can not help it.
7. She self harms. She bites herself, pulls her own hair, she claws herself, scratches herself, pinches herself, etc..
8. She hurts us as well. She pinches, claws, bites, scratches, kicks, punches, etc.
9. She has bad mood swings. She'll be happy one minute and sad or angry the next. A lot fo the time without a visible trigger. 
10. She throws things.
11. She interupts conversations, even when being told not to do so. She has to do it anyway. 
12. She doesn't seem to understand or listen when being corrected. 
13. She can not be told "No", or it's an instant meltdown.
14. Bad anxiety and panic attacks.
15. She has irrational fears. Something very minute, can turn into something huge in a matter of seconds. Like there's a ladybug on the swingset, can turn into a huge breakdown and turn into a dramatic panic attack. 
16. She has trouble getting focused and staying focused. Unless it's on electronics. 
17. She has always had light, sound and smell sensitivity. To the point that if something smells bad to even only her, she throws a fit until you make the smell go away. If a light is too bright, again only to her, she will make a scene until the light is turned down or off. Sounds that seem normal volume to most everyone else, will throw her into a panic attack. 
18. She has trouble settling down. She is super hyper. Her body has to be moving, all the time, even if she's asleep. 
19. She has trouble learning from her own experiences. She repeats behaviors that have gotten her hurt, even if it was just seconds before. 
20. She is highly prone to injury. 
21. She tells lies. 
22. She makes up elaborate stories, and it's not like normal imagination type stuff, it's things that she seems to believe and if you correct her for any reason, it's an instant meltdown. 
23. She tells stories about other people. It can get very scary at times.
24. As I mentioned above, she only seems to be able to focus really well on electronics, sometimes art as well. 
25. She is extremely disruptive in most situations.
26. She says we don't love her or that we don't listen to her, even if we are doing all we can to prove otherwise. Or even if we have exhausted all efforts to remedy whatever situation at hand for that moment. 
27. She has always been an extremely picky eater. She has a horrible texture sensitivity.
28. It's a big deal trying to get her to try anything new, as far as food goes. And sometimes with activities as well. 
29. She has always lined things up in a row, or stacked things a certain way. If you move anything, even a little, even on accident, it turns into a huge meltdown and she has to fix it right away or she can not focus on anything else. 
30. She doesn't do well with change. 
31. She always has to have her blankie with her and she sneaks other small toys and stuffed animals places we go. 
32. She goes completely blank sometimes when getting in trouble or just being told how to do something differently. She just stares off. 
33. She has always had trouble looking in your eyes. She watches your mouth instead. If she looks in your eyes, it's for just a split second and she has to look away.
34. She has huge overreactions to bumps, cuts, scrapes, or bruises. 
35. She has trouble waiting her turn or recognizing that it is someone else's turn. 
36. She sucks on things. Her blankie, her clothes, her socks, her hands, pillows, towels, fingers and hair.
37. She has always quoted movies and shows, even when playing alone, under her breath, she will be quoting movies or shows, or songs even. She uses them as responses to you at times. 
38. She makes sounds in her throat or with her mouth when you talk to her.
39. She started talking at 4 months old and stopped suddenly, right after vaccinations. We thought it was the vaccinations at the time. 
40. She is very smart, academically. She has a very high vocabulary. She has from a very young age.
41. She's unusually clumsy. She bumps into things a lot even if there's room to get through without doing so.  
42. She has trouble recognizing that things belong to other people. Huge fits come on when she takes something she knows belongs to someone else, but she has claimed it. (She's old enough to know better by now)
43. She steals. 
44. She runs instead of walking, almost everywhere.
45. She falls, a lot. Even when standing still on a flat surface.
46. She bites the inside of her mouth and tongue, while sitting still, doing nothing. And has huge meltdowns over it.
47. She doesn't seem to fear things that most kids her age would or should. 
48. She is very quick to anger and frustration.
49. She has trouble handling stress or stressful scenarios.
50. She blames everyone else for things she's done, even if she knows we know better.
51. She needs constant reassurance.
52. She is very forgetful and gets lost with simple instruction. 
53. She has trouble understanding when we are joking with her and will have a meltdown if we joke with her about something simple. She thinks everyone is always literal.  

Some of these things, some people will say it's just her age, it's normal behavior. I know otherwise. These things separately, may be seen as normal behavior, but together, and as often as they happen, we know it's more.
I would never make something like this up to put a label on my child for no reason. I have known something wasn't quite right from shortly after her birth. When she wouldn't respond the way my other girls did at that age. She didn't laugh at things, she didn't smile when other babies would be smiling at something. She was just blank to most things. I knew then. I just didn't know what.

I knew something was there before I even knew about ASD or HFA, or ADHD. It wasn't until I learned about these things that I could put a name to what it was, but it was always there still. With tons of research and talking to other parents with children like Kat, I have been able to narrow it down to a few things that she could possibly have. I won't know for sure until she gets in to her appointment with her Psychologist. But for now, I am her mother, and I know something is going on. I am not making my child a victim or enabling her to act out by claiming her disease is the root of everything. However, for most parents of these children, we do know and recognize that they think, act and feel things differently than our neurotypical children do. They respond differently to things, actions, sounds, and behaviors around them. They can not be parented exactly the same. They are in fact...different. And until that is acknowledged and recognized among the majority, things for them and for us, the parents, will not change.

They do not need more discipline. They do not need to be spanked or slapped. They do not need to be yelled at, (even though some of us falter under the pressure sometimes and do so still), they do not need to be told they are acting or making it up, and neither do we. These children live in a very different world, inside of this world. They aren't just playing the victim or being made to play the victim in hopes of gaining anything out of others. They can not help the way they are. And they ARE different. That doesn't mean they're bad or wrong, or that they are lacking in any way. That just means they learn differently and they respond differently. And yes, people should act accordingly. You wouldn't walk up to someone who is visibly handicapped and push them down, telling to stop acting and act normal. Why would you do that to someone with ADHD/ASD/HFA, etc...

Just because something cannot be easily seen, doesn't mean it's not there and that it's not very real.

My daughter is smart, she is articulate, she is beautiful, she is loving and kind, but on the other side, she has troubles. She doesn't process the same as other people. Her mind works differently. I promise I am not making things up for her, and it's very hurtful for someone to insinuate that I am, even if that's what intended or not. There are several people who are around her that can attest to everything that I am telling you is true. :)

This is real. She is different. And that's ok.