Clara's Surgeries

Clara's first few years were some of the scariest in my life. Not only was I a new mother, afraid of everything, hoarding the GermX and Lysol, but we were taking her back and forth to Scottish Rite in Atlanta for surgery after surgery. Any parent who has gone through handing their baby over to a surgeon, at any age, knows the anxiety and anguish that comes immediately as they pass through those double doors without you. Johnnie had to hold me up quite a bit in those early years. It hasn't gotten easier really, we have just learned how to better handle the anxieties, I think. We still cry, we still wring our hands until she comes back to us, we are still pacing the empty room waiting for her to be back in it with us, we still stand at the door, anxiously awaiting, looking for any sign of her or the surgeon or the surgeon's nurse coming down the hallway, and we still pray for her safety and the surgeons wisdom and steady hands.
But we can now take a breath or two before she comes back and we can eat while we wait for her, of course we run back up to the room once we have the food and we keep checking our cell phone in the elevator waiting for that text that says she's back from surgery and she's doing great. Thank fully we've never actually received that text, because we've never been out of the room when she was brought back.

(I always slept with her in her crib after surgeries. I couldn't stand to be away from her at all. Even just across the room.)

Clara has never been afraid of surgery. I guess because it's all she's ever known. She has actually requested a surgery before, a revision I believe. She is such a strong little girl. She isn't really afraid of much, unless you put her into a dark room. :P She has never given the doctors a hard time, or whined or complained about anything they were doing or were going to have to do. She has always, always just pretty much gone with the flow of things as they come. I am so proud of her and her strength. Her bravery. I am a chicken when it comes to surgery myself. I am the whiney, anxious patient. I want my Richie Bear and my husband right there with me until they have to rip them both away and wheel me back, (4 C-Sections and a gall bladder removal, possibly a Gastric Bypass within the next year, *fingers crossed*). But not Clara. She is the one who was always coaching me and trying to calm me down before her surgeries and mine. LOL She's very kind hearted and she doesn't like to see me scared.

The wait while she is in surgery is especially difficult on her Daddy. He is a nervous wreck the entire time she's out of the room from us. He's usually really sleepy as well because we don't sleep well, if at all the night before and he has to make the long drive to the hospital the next day, (I don't drive I-285). Once she's back in the room, they are inseparable. He stays right with her the whole time. Here's a great example...Johnnie was a heavy smoker most of his teen/adult life. I mean serious about his cigarettes. For her big surgery, he couldn't leave her. He quit smoking so he could stay in the room with her and not have to leave. We were in the hospital for 5 days. Anyone who has been a smoker their whole life can vouch for what an accomplishment that was and what kind of dedication it took to do it. He hasn't picked up a cigarette since. It's been 3 years now.

(These first two photos are of Clara's first two surgeries.)

The following photos are of surgeries and recoveries up until now.

(The following are pictures from the surgery in which she stopped breathing twice during recovery. The worst experience I have ever had in my life. For her, the experience caused anxiety and panic attacks that would last almost a month after surgery.)

The following are from her most recent surgery. It went very smoothly, with no problems at all, during, in recovery or after. She was thrilled to have a successful surgery after that horrible experience with the previous. No panic attacks! :)

This isn't all of her surgeries, but these are the ones that I have the pictures of right now. As you can see, she has been through so much. And none of it easy, I assure you. The last pictures here are of her most recent surgery. She's holding her hand up to show us that she's happy and/or laughing. She couldn't move her face because of the pain, but she could still smile and laugh at us being goofy. :) And that's who she is. Still smiling even through the pain. <3

(Originally written on Clara's Blog on 02-04-2016)